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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497219">Mischief Managed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quarantined_Clam/pseuds/Quarantined_Clam'>Quarantined_Clam</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bullying, Canon Compliant, Child Abuse, F/M, Hogwarts, I'll do my best but we don't have a lot to work with, Jirius is just a bromance don't get any ideas, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Other, Pining, Self Harm, The Marauder's Map</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:09:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497219</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quarantined_Clam/pseuds/Quarantined_Clam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Marauders' seven years at Hogwarts</p><p>Alternatively:<br/>The story of how a girl could turn any asshole into a good person if she's highly attractive.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter &amp; Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin &amp; Peter Pettigrew &amp; James Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. We Were Both Young</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took half a moment after pushing through the magical Platform 9 ¾ brick wall for James to wish he hadn’t waited this long to turn eleven. The platform was packed and buzzing with noise. The excitement in the air was tangible as witches and wizards shoved past him pushing trolleys and holding trunks or owls.</p><p>It took only a second more before James noticed her. She had flaming red hair and was talking heatedly to a brown-haired girl next to her. <em> Her sister? </em></p><p>For some reason, James found himself unable to look away.</p><p>He became vaguely aware of his mother saying his name behind him. </p><p>“James? James!” Euphemia called. Snapping out of his trance, her son turned to her, “Time to go, darling,” She handed him his trunk, rendering his hands useless in reciprocating the hug she pulled him into. </p><p>“Ugh, Mum, stop,” He hissed once she had held on for what he deemed to be a socially unacceptable amount of time, “We’re in public.” </p><p>His mother let go as her husband spoke up, doing his best to sound like a strict, responsible parent, while all three Potters knew that was not the case, “No mischief now, James. Think you could manage that?”</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, James noticed the redhead boarding the Hogwarts Express. Surprisingly, the other girl didn’t follow her on. <em> Odd. They look to be about the same age… </em></p><p>“James?”</p><p>“Oh, sorry,” he said, returning his attention to his father, “Got it. No mischief.”</p><p>A few hugs later, James finally got onto the train. He entered the first empty compartment he could find. </p><p>The first thing he did after stowing his trunk was examine the door. He remarked how a metal bar slid over when it opened. The perfect spot for a bowl to fall on someone’s head. </p><p>Truly a foolproof method for making friends. </p><p>He eagerly pulled out his pre-prepared case of chocolate frogs. Upon double checking the contraption would work, he opened the door once more only to notice the red-haired girl walking down the corridor, approaching his compartment. </p><p>
  <em> Looking for an empty compartment. Otherwise she would have gotten into one already.  </em>
</p><p>The boy thought for a moment and then quickly pressed himself against the wall, out of eyesight of the girl. Having decided that perhaps the prank wasn’t a great idea after all, he was still holding his chocolate frogs, not having had time to put them away. </p><p>As planned, the girl entered his compartment. Upon noticing him, she quietly said, “Oh, sorry, thought this one was empty.”</p><p>As she was about to close the door, James said, a bit louder than necessary, “Oh, oh no it’s alright, stay.” She silently sat down across from him. </p><p>Realizing that he was probably coming off as odd, holding an unexplained bowl of chocolate frogs, he quickly moved and started stuffing it back into his luggage. Too rushed and nervous to do it properly, he made a complete mess of himself with one or two frogs falling out and starting to hop around. </p><p>
  <em> Stupid, James! Don’t mess this up! </em>
</p><p>He finally managed to force his trunk shut. Desperately trying to save this first impression, he scooped up one of the chocolate frogs and held it out to the girl as it struggled in his hand. </p><p>“Chocolate frog?” He offered. </p><p>She stared at him for a moment before shaking her head.</p><p>Seeing her properly for the first time, James realized that she looked upset about something. </p><p>
  <em> Yes! We can talk about it. Girls like emotions, right? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No, hold off, get to know her first. </em>
</p><p>James sat down, pondering conversation starters.</p><p>“Er I’m James...Potter” he stuttered, “James Potter.”</p><p>“Lily Evans,” She was silent for a few minutes.</p><p><em> No, keep the conversation going! </em> </p><p>“So...uh” He began, “What’s your favorite Quidditch team.”</p><p>“What’s Quidditch?”</p><p>
  <em> What’s quid一? Oh. </em>
</p><p>Of course. The sister staying behind..her not knowing the sport.</p><p>
  <em> Muggleborn. </em>
</p><p>“Oh, uh,” <em> Stop stammering, for God’s sake! </em>“Quidditch is一” he was cut off by a sound just outside the door.</p><p>“Narcissa, leave me <em> alone. </em>” Another boy stormed into the room, attempting to slam the sliding door but only managing to close it slightly louder than usual. He sat down next to James with a huff.</p><p>“Rough moment, mate?” James jokingly asked their new companion. Even sitting down, James could tell the kid was taller than he. The newcomer’s brown hair fell almost shoulder length.</p><p>He huffed a humorless laugh and leaned back in the seat before responding, “You have no idea.” </p><p>“James Potter,” James introduced himself. Lily opened her mouth to give sirius her name, but James didn’t give her time, “This is Lily,” Lily sighed quietly and looked down.</p><p>“Sirius,” The boy reciprocated the introduction.</p><p>“You got a last name, Sirius?” James questioned with a smirk.</p><p>Sirius didn’t answer, instead responding with “So I heard the word Quidditch.”</p><p>James noted the quick topic change, his interest in the boy beside him growing, but followed the conversation, “Yeah, we were just talking about it. Lily here doesn’t have a favorite team.”</p><p>“Well, surely you have a team that you hate the <em> least </em>” Sirius directed towards Lily, misunderstanding the connotations of James’s statement.</p><p>“I一” Lily tried to respond but was cut off by Sirius.</p><p>“Is it the Wimbourne Wasps? It’s probably the Wimbourne Wasps.”</p><p>“Oh my gosh, they’re excellent,” James exclaimed.</p><p>“I know right? Have you seen that new player?” Sirius thought for a moment, “Something Bagman?”</p><p>Giving up on ever being included in the conversation, Lily sighed again and resolved to looking out the window.</p><p>Over the remainder of the train ride, James’s compartment gained two new members: One a boy named Vincent Stebbings, who immediately shoehorned into the animated Quidditch discussion. The other, a greasy-haired eleven-year-old who had been looking for a specific girl for nearly 20 minutes.</p><p>No one but Lily noticed the skinny brunette and the two proceeded to have a hushed conversation. It was only when the boy raised his voice in excitement that their three companions turned to look.</p><p>“But we’re going! This is it! We’re off to Hogwarts!” He exclaimed, “You’d better be in Slytherin.”  </p><p>That really got James’s attention, “Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave,” He turned to Sirius, “Wouldn’t you?”</p><p>After a moment’s pause, Sirius admitted, “My whole family have been in Slytherin.”</p><p>This took James aback, “Blimey and I thought you seemed alright.”</p><p>Sirius grinned, “Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading if you’ve got the choice?”</p><p>“Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart. Like my dad,” He added. James heard a small disparaging noise come from the boy across from them, “Got a problem with that?” He asked.</p><p>“No…...If you’d rather be brawny than brainy.”</p><p>Sirius spoke up, “Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?” James didn’t bother covering up his laugh.</p><p>His smile faded as Lily stood up, “Come on, Severus,” She said, speaking louder than James had ever heard her thus far.</p><p>“See ya, Snivellus,” said Sirius, still laughing.</p><p>The conversation beside him continued but James was no longer paying attention, rather staring at the closed compartment door. He knew he had made a mistake.</p><p>However, what he didn’t know was that it was a mistake he’d regret for years to come.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>“You nervous?” James whispered to Sirius as they followed the group of first years into the Great Hall. </p><p>Sirius did an exaggerated hair flip, “I’m never nervous.”</p><p>James laughed slightly and caught a glimpse of Lily’s facial expression a few meters behind them. </p><p>
  <em> Well someone’s nervous.  </em>
</p><p>The sorting hat began his song and James didn’t bother paying attention. About a minute and a half after the song began, Sirius turned to him and whispered, “hey er...there’s something I should probably tell you——” He was cut off by McGonagall calling up the first student to be sorted. </p><p>“Tell me later,” James muttered. </p><p>It happened a few students later. As Astelia Baron took her seat at the Hufflepuff table, McGonagle stepped forward and opened her scroll again: “Black, Sirius.”</p><p>For a moment, the world turned over. As James felt Sirius move from beside him, short flashbacks of big headlines his parents told him not to believe and hushed conversations between his family members in the kitchen came tumbling through his mind. </p><p>
  <em> ‘My whole family have been in slytherin.’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘Maybe I’ll break the tradition.’ </em>
</p><p>He wasn’t like them. He couldn’t be. </p><p>So caught up in his thoughts, James nearly missed the sorting hat shouting out </p><p>“GRYFFINDOR!” A few moments after it was placed on Sirius’s head. </p><p>Smiling widely, James’s friend made his way towards the Gryffindor table to the sound of applause that could be described as a bit surprised but happy nonetheless. </p><p>The sorting passed quickly (he did notice, with a slight smile that Lily Evans ended up in Gryffindor) and James was aware his name was coming up soon. Right before him, however, a mousy brown-haired boy named Peter Pettigrew was called up. His sorting was odd. The hat rested upon his head for what must have been three minutes before deciding on Gryffindor, but James mostly thought nothing of it. </p><p>And then his name. </p><p>A deep breath. </p><p>Slow steps. </p><p>Trying desperately to calm his racing heart. </p><p>And a second after the hat was placed on his head, it bellowed out decisively, “GRYFFINDOR.”</p><p>The world was okay. </p><p>He confidently walked towards the Gryffindor table and sat between Sirius and a boy whose name turned out to be Remus Lupin. </p><p>The latter seemed nice enough. He made brief conversation with both James and that Pettigrew boy before turning his attention back to his book Hogwarts: A History. </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>“So, Sirius Black,” James said, putting down his quill. The two were the last ones remaining in the common room and James’s watch read 1:17, “Let’s hear your story.”</p><p>Sirius sighed, “Anything specific you’d like to know?”</p><p>
  <em> Quite a few things, mate. </em>
</p><p>Instead, James said, “How does someone like you come out from people like...them?”</p><p>“Well it’s quite a complicated process. You see when a mother and father love each other very mu——” upon seeing the look James was giving him, Sirius let out another sigh, “Look, I’m not like them. I don’t hate all Muggle-Borns or get off on thoughts of You-Know-Who,” he gave a quiet, humorless laugh, “I guess I’m the defective one.”</p><p>“I don’t think you’re defective,” James responded quickly. </p><p>Sirius chuckled for real now, “An odd compliment but, thank you kindly.”</p><p>A quiet pause. </p><p>“Are the rumors….true? People talk. Are your parents really planning on joining—”</p><p>“I’ve no idea,” Sirius said, “You think they’d tell me? They probably think I’m a spy for some army of half-bloods or something.”</p><p>Neither said anything for a bit. </p><p>“Whatchya writing anyway?” Sirius asked. </p><p>“Oh this?’ James looked at the paper of the table before him, “Copying over the schedule. Borrowed from Remus.”</p><p>Sirius snickered, “Lost yours already?”</p><p>“There was treacle tart, I got distracted!”</p><p>Another moment of silence before Sirius broke it.</p><p>“You don’t….hate me now, do you?”</p><p>“No,” James answered quietly.</p><p>
  <em> Change the subject, James. Change it now. </em>
</p><p>James smiled and faked an exaggerated yawn, “You know, Sirius, I’m feeling quite tired. I couldn’t possibly finish copying this over before tomorrow.”</p><p>Sirius grinned and played along, “And it would be an absolute <em> shame </em> for Remus to be missing his schedule for so long.”</p><p>“Right, I’m sure I’ll be able to guess where and when we have our classes.”</p><p>“I’m sure you will.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title from Taylor Swift's Love Story.</p><p>So yeah, apparently there was a hat stall for Wormtail. No big surprise. Why did he end up in Gryffindor though? I have one theory but I'd like to hear others.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. If you want to start a fight, you better throw the first punch, make it a good one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rough start at school for some, a mindless one for others</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lily readjusted the small mountain of books in her arms, trying not to stumble under their weight. She caught a glimpse of Severus walking alone behind her and slowed her steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coming, Lily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll catch up with you,” she told Penny Patil before moving away from the group of Gryffindor girls and towards the single Slytherin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” She said now walking beside him, “How was the first week?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus just grunted in response and gestured to Lily’s pile of school supplies, “Need help with that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” She assured him despite visibly struggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be stupid,” He responded taking three textbooks off the top. Lily breathed a sigh of relief despite herself and fixed her bag on her shoulders. Severus glanced at her curiously, “so why the extra textbooks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m falling behind in transfiguration and charms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So your genius solution is to give yourself extra work this early in the term?” He teased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey I don’t want to already start failing! I’m not the worst at potions though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing alright in that class too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both didn’t speak for a bit until Lily piped up, trying to push through the tangible awkwardness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...haven’t seen you lately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry,” He said, “I...School’s been rough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily smiled, “I’m sure,” Still trying to keep the mood light, “Hey maybe tomorrow we could—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was cut off by two older boys in Slytherin robes coming up behind them, “Aww Snape’s made friends with the mudblood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She really your type, Snape?” He was pushed by one and stumbled forward as the boys ran ahead laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily quietly took her books and just muttered, “See you around, Sev,” before walking faster to catch up with her friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus internally slapped himself. He should have said something. Anything but standing there and letting himself get pushed around. He stopped his train of thought as he heard two loud and familiar voices behind him…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Potter and Black. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed his way through a group of students trying to disappear into the crowd. After all, there was safety in numbers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, once relatively sure he was out of immediate harm. Perfect start to a perfect day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James and Sirius moved through a group of students. The amber sunset sky gleamed sleepily at them through the windows that lined the corridor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You missed the turn,” Remus said, catching up to them and breathing heavily. He had been feeling ill as of late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Indeed the group of four had walked right passed the doorway leading to the staircase that could bring you to the Gryffindor common room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sirius retorted, “James and I found a shortcut. We’ll be there in no ti—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that, the group bumped straight into Professor McGonagall.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Looking a bit worse for wear. The first week must’ve been hard on her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Potter, Black,” she began, “If I’m not mistaken, I gave you both copies of your misplaced schedules yesterday.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh right, that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Yet today you still failed to attend your classes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James threw Sirius a look. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Think fast!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you see, professor,” Sirius said smiling, barely missing a beat, “We’ve been trying to cure James’s spattergroit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James’s spattergroit,” Professor McGonagall repeated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah. And a pretty bad case at that,” James felt the need to add in a small cough at the end of the sentence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a very complicated procedure,” Sirius continued, “You have to stand naked in a barrel of eels’ eyes at the full moon, and since that’s not until a week from now, we’ve had to—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Detention, both of you,” the head of house cut him off, “Tomorrow 8 PM, my office. And I expect you both to attend your classes during the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moved past them and continued down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s risky, Professor!” Sirius exclaimed overdramatically, “The condition is highly contagi—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes and if we all come down with spattergroit, you have every right to say you told me so,” she said, not bothering to look back at the students. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it was worth a shot,” Sirius said as they began walking again. Peter and Remus were still next to them, not having bothered to walk ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’ve you two been skipping out anyway?” Peter asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been working on a very important project.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I assume it isn’t curing James's Spattergroit,” Remus muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. It’s like this,” James explained, “We’ve set up a system of flowerpots in which—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was interrupted by a shriek followed by a girl shouting, “Someone’s set off a dungbomb!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius swore, “damnit, that one wasn’t supposed to go off until later. Gotta go,” He and James sprinted ahead down the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, weren’t you going to show us that shortcut?” Peter called, only to see the two brown-haired boys disappear around the corridor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Remus sighed in unison before turning around to head back to the staircases. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, Lily, that’s marvelous,” Professor Slughorn remarked, examining her cure for boils, “And Severus too,” he peered into the cauldron next to hers, “Excellent, excellent.” The girl beamed and the boy allowed himself a slight smile which turned into a scowl when the potions master proceeded to compliment James Potter’s concoction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on, Severus,” Lily chastised, “His being good at it doesn’t make you any worse.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he’s good at </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” the Slytherin hissed, “How is that normal?” He shut his copy of Magical Drafts and Potions, “not to mention he—” He cut himself off last second, seeing no reason to tell Lily about the innumerable times Potter had tripped or shoved him in the hallways, always accompanied with a ‘How’s it going, Snivellus?’ or something of the like. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was mid-November now. If you were to walk a flight of stairs up from where the two eleven-year-olds were seated you could gaze out the hallway window admiring the plethora of colors the fallen leaves had to offer for only a moment before a leaf was blown directly into your face by a strong gust of wind. The glass on the first floor windows had been suspiciously removed and the teachers could only hazard a guess as to whether this was the work of Peeves the Poltergeist or a component of some elaborate prank by the dynamic duo, James Potter and Sirius Black. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Said students were currently flicking snake fangs across the table each one trying to get the other in the eye. That is until Peter snapped at them to quit it and help him with his own brewing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if on cue, Lily heard a loud whisper from a table full of Slytherins a few seats away from the one she shared with Severus, “Oi, Snape, if you’re so clever come help me with mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a slightly apologetic glance to Lily, Snape stood and walked towards the voice. Lily sighed quietly. She often found herself being left behind in favor of some Slytherin first or second year as of late.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At least he’s making friends.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you didn’t miss much in charms, but Flitwick sends his regards,” James’s said setting his book bag down on the hospital wing bedside table and zipping it open, “Here’s defense against the dark arts notes,” He handed Remus a roll of parchment, “transfiguration was all just practical stuff and potions you could probably just get out of the textbook.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And for History of Magic?” Remus questioned, setting aside James’s notes and drawing his knees to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...er...I think I fell asleep,” James began, “Hey,” he directed toward Sirius and Peter, taking their attention from their respective activities (Sirius had been practicing levitating his shoe while Peter scowled at his charms textbook) “Either of you have Binns notes?” Both shook their heads and James turned back to Remus, “Well it’s probably not important then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks again for helping me out,” Remus said for the millionth time that day before collapsing into his millionth coughing fit of the day. James winced as he caught sight of some blood landing on the blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s wrong with this kid? It seems he gets sick at least once a month…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” James muttered. He, Peter, and Sirius were now all seated around Remus’s bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Christmas break’s coming up,” Peter started, stowing his textbook, “Any of you lot staying in?” All shook their heads, “Guess it’ll be just me here then,” Peter finished, glumly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, mate, I would if it was up to me,” Remus said, “But I think Mum’s got some separation anxiety.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to see your parents?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James, I’ve lived with them for ten yea—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright boys, visiting hours are over,” Madam Pomfrey entered holding a tray of oddly-colored potions, “I wouldn’t recommend coming in tomorrow,” She and Remus made meaningful eye contact for a moment, “Mr. Lupin shouldn’t be having too many visitors around now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the three exited the hospital wing and started towards the common room, James couldn’t help but remark on how uncharacteristically silent Sirius had been for that last conversation.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter title taken from The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty by Panic! At The Disco.</p><p>My question today: Thoughts on Snape? Is he what the world made him, or is he what he made of himself?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Mum says I’m an angel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Warning: Child abuse. Basically the Black family being the Black family.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“But did you make any friends at least?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, of course I made friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are they….you know….pureblood?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Regulus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, right, I know,” Sirius’s brother backtracked quickly, repeating the words Sirius had drilled into him when their parents weren’t around “I know it doesn’t matter. Just, if she finds out that they—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I didn’t ask,” Sirius retorted, “And since when do I care what her thoughts are on the matter?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Regulus was silent. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just leave me alone, Reg.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once on his own, Sirius moved from his desk to sitting on his slightly torn mattress. He knew he shouldn’t be taking out his bitterness on his brother, especially not after lying straight to his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had asked about three weeks in, and he hated himself for it. It was almost on delayed instinct. It was like for every active step he took not to become his parents, his subconscious blindsided him, forcing him into it in another way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both James and Peter were pureblood while Remus’s mother was a muggle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It doesn’t matter</span>
  </em>
  <span> he told himself constantly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>It doesn’t matter. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He supposed he should be somewhat thankful. Ignoring him wasn’t the worst his parents could do. All the resident Gryffindor of the family had received was a curt nod from his father when he had entered the house. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius flopped down on his bed so he was lying on his back and closed his eyes. Maybe if he concentrated really really hard, he could open them to find himself back in his dormitory….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>BANG</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius shot into a standing position, his heart racing, and listened carefully for any sound at the door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t come up please don’t come up. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once satisfied that he was safe, he made his way towards his dusty window, the source of the sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He peered out and immediately saw two birds and three owls on his window sill. Confused, he let them all in, and they fluttered to his bed standing in line single-file. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius curiously untied the notes from each of their talons. The birds immediately flew over to his dresser and claimed the small open bag of stale biscuits, while the eleven-year-old set the letters down on his bed. Each piece of parchment held only a single word and Sirius smiled when he recognized James’s handwriting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed out loud when he arranged them in order on the blanket, seeing what they spelled out:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oi mate, how’s it going?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still chuckling, he picked up the largest one and turned it over. He set it down on his desk and grabbed a quill, jotting down a quick response:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sent me five birds. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He attached the note to one of the grey owls and carried it to his window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go home. And tell James to write like a normal person next time,” the owl flew away with a small and satisfied chirp. Sirius turned to the other birds, “You lot get out of here too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once his bedroom was feather-free, Sirius returned to his desk, in a much better mood than he had been in before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few moments of gazing at his grey wallpaper, the boy was hit by a flash of inspiration. He quickly pulled his trunk out from under his bed and rummaged through it, smiling when he found the large picture of the Gryffindor house crest he had swiped hoping to gain a bit of comfort over the holidays. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed a roll of spellotape from his desk drawer, stood up on his chair, and began taping the paper to the wall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once finished, he examined his work very satisfied before hearing a sound behind him. He turned to see his mother standing in the middle of the room and felt his stomach twist into a knot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes that managed to be both furious and calm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walburga briskly walked towards him and, as though it was the simplest thing in the world, shoved her son off his chair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius fell backwards, feeling his head bash against the wall. His insides screamed in pain, but the boy forced himself to scramble to his feet, only to see his mother tearing the poster to shreds. She threw the pieces to the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked at her son and coolly said “Come downstairs, it’s time for dinner.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius knew it would only get worse if he talked back so he just nodded and silently followed her out of the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only one of his cousins that Sirius was at all fond of was the middle one Andromeda. She and her sisters were standing in the doorway of the Black family dining room, along with his aunt and uncle. Every year they came for Christmas and every year Sirius didn’t look forward to it. But Andromeda made it a bit more bearable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sat down next to him now, as the family began to eat. Sirius was momentarily distracted as Narcissa, while walking to her seat, slowed down at his side. He suddenly felt very small as she glared down at him before resuming her speed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Andromeda cleared her throat and whispered to him, “I heard about Gryffindor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sirius said nothing, aware that the dark brown haired 18-year-old next to him had been in Slytherin and had only left Hogwarts last year. He saw his mother’s eyes on him and quickly looked down at his plate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that where you want to be?” his cousin asked quietly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still looking down, Sirius answered quietly but sure of himself, “yes”. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then you’re in the right place,” resounded Andromeda simply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The meal passed slowly, and Sirius didn’t eat at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all stared at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all knew he was a misfit. The nefarious Gryffindor of the family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Sirius didn’t care. They could throw him out in the street for all he minded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But still, he got tired of the eyes on him. Without asking to be excused, he stood up. He felt Regulus pulling at his arm, very clearly advising him to stay, but Sirius shook him off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he left, his parents eyes followed him, the message very clear. This wasn’t the end. They’d deal with him later. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once back in his room, Sirius saw the message that was on his desk (he had left the window open, for any owls who wished to stop by). The paper from James read:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You got a problem with that?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time, the note from his friend did little to improve Sirius’s mood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They’d deal with him later. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lay down on his bed wanting very much to be anywhere else on earth. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter title taken from Miracle as heard in the musical Matilda. </p>
<p>Sorry this one was kind of heavy. Just wanted to give a sense of the relationships we’re going to be working with. </p>
<p>Question today: What do you think of Regulus just as a character? I always thought his arc was quite interesting and very powerful.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I know it's dire, my time today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>That day, the 4 boys’ dormitory was uncharacteristically quiet, and James wondered if now was the right time to do it. It was six months into the school year after all, and a single glance out the window would tell you that spring was rapidly approaching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat up on his bed and looked around. The room was, as always, rather messy, with clothes and quills strewn this way and that. The house elves came in and cleaned every afternoon but by the next morning, the dormitory always managed to be thrown back into disarray, though it was usually a bit neater in the area around Remus’s bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Remus and Peter were currently reading, while Sirius was lying on his back playing with an empty ink bottle, repeatedly throwing it up and transfiguring it in midair into a flask and back again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After another small mental battle, James concluded that the time was now. It was odd, but he trusted them all in a way he’d never felt towards anyone before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got something to show you guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At James’s voice, both Remus and Sirius looked up from their activities, while Peter eagerly leaned forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James gestured them all over. They crowded around as he pulled something out of his trunk, “You can’t tell anyone though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Peter asked upon seeing the large piece of fabric. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see,” James replied before dramatically throwing the cloak over himself, always excited to put on an act. The other three gawked as their friend completely disappeared from view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way,” Remus said when James re-emerged, “Is that a real invisibility cloak?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter reached out to touch it but Sirius beat him, pulling it from James’s grasp. He examined the cloak for a moment, “Well, Remus, I sincerely doubt it's a fake one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’d you get it?” questioned Peter incredulously</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad. He says it’s been in the family for years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Today had to be a good day, right? He had just found out about his excellent charms exam grade, and yesterday, he hadn’t run into any of the more vicious students even once. So today will probably be a lucky one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart pounding, he made his way over to the Gryffindor table, crossing an unspoken line for the first time. He figured he might as well. Lily wouldn’t ever be able to come to the Slytherin table, due to her unfortunate parentage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A girl next to Lily was conversing with her animatedly, and Severus hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should wait until she was finished. When the other Gryffindor showed no sign of stopping any time soon, Severus mustered up his courage, and approached the duo. The student who wasn’t Lily saw him first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon noticing his Slytherin robes, she abruptly stopped speaking and scowled, “What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily turned around and saw her Slytherin friend, “It’s fine, Angie,” she addressed the girl next to her. Angie’s facial expression stayed the same, “I’ll just...er,” Lily stood and picked up her bag, before joining Severus in retreating from the Great Hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, at the breakfast table she’d just departed from, four boys were engrossed in their own conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Sirius,” Peter exclaimed, “Your dad’s in the paper.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just skip it,” Sirius muttered, pushing away the copy of The Daily Prophet Peter tried to hand him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter began reading out loud anyway, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ministry worker Orion Black applauded for his genius work on spell for automatic muggle detection. On Friday, a note sent to—</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said leave it!” Sirius snapped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The resulting silence was broken by Remus, “I...er...I’ll be out tonight. Don’t wait up. I have...tutoring with McGonagall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James raised his eyebrows. He knew perfectly well that Remus was doing excellently in transfiguration but chose to ignore it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So….this is it then,” Remus said. Peter nodded grimly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The four were back at Platform 9 ¾.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Course not,” James said, trying to slightly lighten the mood, “We’ll be back next year, won’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus opened his mouth to respond but was called over by his mother. With a backwards wave, he left to join his parents. Peter was gone soon after, and then James and Sirius were left alone in the crowd of students and parents. James caught a glimpse of his own a few meters away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Off on the side, he saw Lily embracing what must have been her mother. James offered her a small wave, which was unsurprisingly not returned. He sighed and turned back to Sirius, whose expression made it clear that he’d be counting down the days until school started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, maybe you could come over sometime?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shook his head, “Probably not. Parents, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James nodded even though he truly didn’t know, “You could always say I abducted you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was awarded a small laugh from his friend at that one, “I doubt that would go over too well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A beat of silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Till next time then,” James said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Till next time,” Sirius responded quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James went off to join his parents, leaving Sirius standing alone in a tumultuous sea of reuniting families.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry, didn't feel great about this chapter.<br/>Also I know the first year was short, but year 2 is when the actual action picks up.</p><p>Chapter title from Twenty One Pilots's Car Radio</p><p>Question today: For people who know genetics, assume red hair is recessive and black is dominant. What percent chance does each of Harry's children have of having red hair? Remember, both Lily and Ginny are redheads.</p><p>Thanks for reading!<br/>-Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Start running, I’ll chase you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Your brother?” James whispered, as Regulus ascended to the sorting platform upon hearing his name called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on his younger and shorter look-alike, and wondering if James could hear his heart’s nervous pounding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“SLYTHERIN”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius’s sigh was left unheard by most, drowned out by the cheering from around the Great Hall. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You knew this would happen,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he chastised himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You shouldn’t be this disappointed.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He decided it was stupid of him to have had that small sliver of hope that Reg would be sorted into anywhere else but Slytherin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius rested his head on his hand and caught sight of Regulus seated at the Slytherin table, but if Regulus saw him, he didn’t acknowledge it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt James tap on his shoulder before silently pointing out the hole in the napkin that Sirius had absentmindedly driven in with his fingernail. The brown-haired boy gave it an apologetic look before taking out his wand and muttering “reparo.” The fabric fixed itself but the stitches in the repaired area were significantly messier than everywhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Sirius grew aware of Dumbledore’s voice, the headmaster was already halfway through his speech.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am also pleased to inform you all that Professor Merriweather will be taking over Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. After that unfortunate incident in May, Professor Ravener was deemed unfit to continue teaching, but St. Mungo’s is happy to report that her ears should return back to human size within the next few months.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few students laughed and Sirius decided to stop thinking all together and just allow himself to enjoy the start of second year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quidditch try-outs were what was on James’s mind those days. No matter where he went, his thoughts lingered on the Comet 60 beneath his bed in the Gryffindor dormitory, until it was finally Sunday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On judgement day, he marched with the rest of the hopefuls out to the pitch. James looked around and realized that he was the only second year present, the youngest and the shortest. As his nerves grew, he began to feel very small. The twelve-year-old tried to ground himself by focusing on the feel of the Comet’s well-polished wood clutched his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He had purposefully waited until the dormitory was full, not wanting to reveal the broom before there was a proper audience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah,” Peter had gasped upon seeing the small white words on the end, “That’s the latest model!” He exclaimed as though James didn’t know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently inventing Sleekeazy's Hair Potion gets you somewhere financially,” Remus had grumbled from across the room. James didn’t care what anyone said. He was quite proud of his father’s accomplishments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right now however, James felt nothing like his confident self from a few days ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His turn to try out was getting closerer. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Relax, you’ll be fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. After all, he’d been flying since the age of five. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person right before him was going now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truly, he’d be alright with any position, just so long as he got on the team. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, maybe not keeper</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He couldn’t stand the thought of staying in one place all game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His name was called. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nathan Wood, seventh year, team captain, and seeker, was nice enough. They started with some quaffle passes and he did alright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it was time for scoring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Got the first one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second bounced off the hoop and only barely made it in. James felt the clouds laughing at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next two were perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was rubbish at keeping the bludgers away but managed to catch the snitch in just under seven minutes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he touched back onto the ground, James realized he was smiling. It had felt good to be back in the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That feeling multiplied ten-fold the next morning upon seeing the team list pinned on the Gryffindor bulletin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scanned the parchment and grinned. His name was listed under “chaser” alongside Rowena Goldstein and David Nelson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cornered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Severus was used to feeling that way. He supposed it was his fault. At least that’s what his father would be saying right now. It had just been that stupid comment. If he had kept his mouth shut he wouldn’t be in this position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two slytherin seventh years just walking by. One had pushed him but the other had laughed so Severus reasoned that both were guilty. And in that moment he couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like the last straw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re going to interact, then you might as well stay to chat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d regretted the comment immediately when they both turned and walked back to him, faces completely calm. Severus glanced around and found that the hallway was completely empty </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back to the older students. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Snivellus, isn’t it?” One questioned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well good to know there’s at least some inter-house unity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus tried to remember that student’s name, wanting to make a statement equally imposing.  He came up short and chose instead to make direct eye contact, something he had really never tried before in these situations. He chose the one who’d spoken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’s dark black eyes bore into the older’s deep brown pair. He wanted to look away but forced himself to hold strong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then a quiet but strong voice went off inside his head: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Expelliarmus!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus shouted “</span>
  <em>
    <span>PROTEGO,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” just in time to shield himself from the spell his opponent had non-verbally cast. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell was that?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus was so taken aback by his own surprising act of defense, that he fell prey to the older student’s companion’s disarming spell. His wand flew from his hand and then—“</span>
  <em>
    <span>PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”—his body went stiff as a board. Severus let his mind turn off for a bit. He really didn’t want to be conscious for what was going to happen next. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing on James’s agenda was to get Lily to stop hating him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was sitting alone by the fire when he returned to the common room after a long day of classes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he said tentatively, sitting down in the chair next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She barely spared him a glance before returning to whatever she was writing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James decided to make conversation about a topic he was quite proud of those days, “So I had quidditch practice earlier.” He wondered if she had seen his name on the list a few weeks ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good for you,” She said curtly, before getting up and moving over to sit with a group of Gryffindor girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James remained in his seat, unsure of what he had done wrong. He caught sight of Sirius smirking knowingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bad luck, mate,” the boy said sitting down beside his friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James tried to play it off, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well at least she didn’t ignore you this time. That’s got to be progress, right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>James' thoughts were interrupted by a crowd of students all coming in at once. They all seemed to be involved in some heated argument. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” James questioned Peter as the latter joined them, sinking into an armchair and pulling out his transfiguration homework. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rakepick’s going on about her Cursed Vaults theory again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had all heard about Patricia Rakepick’s claims that there were some deeply hidden and dangerously cursed vaults located around the castle. Despite her insistence that they existed, the theory had yet to be proven. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh she’s nuts, that one,” Sirius responded, “I mean, it’s completely unfounde——” He cut himself off quickly when he realized that the crowd had dispersed and Patricia was staring right at them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tall girl cocked her head to one side. James was sure she’d come at them or something. Though believed to be off her rocker, the sixth year’s strong presence could be quite intimidating, and James and his friends tried to avoid her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of attacking them however, she simply spoke, “You’re the kids who locked the Bloody Barron in the trophy case the other day, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er...maybe?” James said tentatively. Would she rat them out?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of silence, “You’d be better off using the Ebublio Jinx next time. It’s far more reliable.” With that, the red head turned and proceeded to the girls’ dormitory, leaving the three second-years looking after her, at a loss for words. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun fact: Ebublio is a spell used in the Goblet of Fire video game. <br/>Question of the day: Which position would you want to play in Quidditch? Or are you like me and would just want to be Lee Jordan doing play-by-play commentating?<br/>Also thought I should say thank you all so much for the support thus far! This is my first ao3 work and I honestly didn’t think anyone would actually like it. You guys are awesome.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>People learn more about themselves, and perhaps a bit more about their friends</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Severus’s alone time gave him too much time to think. And when he thought, he mostly thought about that incident in September, last month. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t alone in that Sunday moment though. He and Lily were in an empty classroom reviewing Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Merriweather was turning out to be a far better teacher than her predecessor and all the classes were advancing far quicker than they had last year. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately that also meant that her exams, such as the one they were presently studying for, were much more difficult. Well, ‘studying’ was a loose term, as it consisted of Severus reading aloud from the textbook while every now and then Lily briefly cast the tongue-tying curse upon him, finding his mock anger hilarious. Severus let her do it, but only because it felt nice to hear her laugh, until he eventually disarmed his friend and confiscated her wand until their study session ended and both had to go to lunch.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus sat down in a more empty section of the Slytherin table, and looked down at his empty plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered if he could chalk The Incident up to just a lucky shot. Yet he still remembered that voice...clear as day. As though someone had specifically delivered a piece of advice to him. He hadn’t tried to harness it, whatever it was, since then. He felt almost afraid of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucius Malfoy walked by then, and briefly rested his hand upon Severus’s shoulder in acknowledgement before taking a seat further down the table. The Slytherin head boy had been one of the only students to be somewhat kind to Severus during the past year. When Malfoy had initially taken a liking to him, Severus had assumed that Lucius would use his position of power to attempt to stop the bullying. Instead, the seventh year encouraged Severus to fight back. And it made Severus feel almost...good? Like he was being taken seriously rather than pitied or mocked. He had proved himself to be pretty good with a wand after all...not that he’d ever gain the confidence to use a jinx or hex against another student. There were sometimes urges though….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s it goin’ Snivelly?” from across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus unconsciously clenched his hand into a fist. Urges. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he decided to ignore the voice of James Potter, instead turning to the food laid out on the table.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James rubbed his hands together in an effort to warm them, as he and his friends had just come back from an enjoyable, freezing, possibly-against-school-rules, November evening walk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you hear the howl?” Peter asked James. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably nothing to worry about,” though it had definitely put James on edge as well, there’s no way he’d admit it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounded like it could’ve been a werewolf” the other boy said, twisting his hands nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, guys, keep up,” Sirius told James and Peter. It was getting concerningly close to curfew, and Sirius had been meaning to show them a new shortcut to the common room. This particular one had been taught to him by none other than Patricia Ratepick. The boys were quickly finding out that access to Ratepick gave them loads of new information about the Hogwarts layout itself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius knocked a specific pattern onto a certain stone wall, and the rock opened into a small hole, just large enough to crawl through. It reminded James of the entryway to Diagonal Alley. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should write these down,” James pointed out as he tried to avoid bumping his head on the top of the narrow opening, “It’s getting difficult to remember them all.” The three scurried up a staircase and into another passageway, “I mean, even the founders themselves probably didn’t—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damnit,” Sirius cut him off and shoved both of his two companions against the wall, effectively moving all three of them out of sight of Mrs. Norris as she prowled down the hall perpendicular to theirs. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nice save</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, coast is clear,” Sirius whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are we whispering?” whispered Peter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if we’re technically allowed in this hallway. Wasn’t listening to Dumbledore’s September speech.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Remus when we need him?” James muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Said second-year was currently in the hospital wing with yet another unidentified illness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A couple of passageways, and ducking behind statues to avoid teachers, later, they finally made it back to the common room. Sirius stated the password (Pixie Porridge) and they proceeded to their dormitory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Should have brought the cloak,” James mused as he changed into pajamas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius shook his head, “Too risky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was right. The group had agreed to take a bit of a break from the Invisibility Cloak, given they had nearly been discovered under it when James and Sirius had thought it an excellent joke to cast the bubblehead charm on Professor Meriwhether. It had crossed James’s mind to feel a bit guilty for the prank, but she was far too serious a teacher for his liking. The woman was also quite old, so a few extra liters of oxygen couldn’t hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter opened up a textbook and took a seat on his bed. He looked up at the other two, “Either of you understand the herbology lesson from yesterday?” When both his friends shook their heads, he sighed, “Maybe Remus can teach me it tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Remus.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>James looked at the empty bed across from his. The boy’s frequent disappearances were certainly suspicious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James lay down on his bed and heard the other’s doing the same. He gazed out the window facing his bed and listened as his friends’ breathing slowly turned more even and deep. He felt himself drifting off as well, the full moon peacefully shining out in the dark indigo sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait a minute.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>James sat up in bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The full moon. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Remus had to be absent....once a month.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, shut up, James.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was working himself up over nothing surely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned back in bed and let himself fall into slumber, dreaming of a pixies eating the moon.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Anybody else going crazy in quarantine?<br/>Chapter title from the song of the same name by panic.<br/>Thanks for reading,<br/>Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Just Like Every Night Has Its Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We knew it from the beginning, but now James, Sirius, and Peter are going to find out the truth...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sirius subconsciously ran his hand over his right shoulder. The pattern was the same as last year’s: the bruises from the summer nearly fade only to be redarkened over Christmas. If the other three noticed while he was changing, they never mentioned it. </p><p>He dug his finger into the thick snow beside where he, James, and Patricia were seated on the grounds, until it reached the grass underneath, which he violently ripped out of the ground. It was odd that the grass could still be green even underneath the white frozen blanket. </p><p>Sirius turned his attention back to the conversation happening next to him. Well it was more a one-sided monologue than a conversation. Having finished working with the boys on teaching them <em> aguamente </em>(Sirius still wasn’t able to do it but she assured him that it had taken her a while too), Patricia was now, yet again going on about her obsession, the Hogwarts so-called cursed vaults. </p><p>“I told you guys about the ice one, right?” Not waiting for an answer from either of them, she launched into yet another explanation about ice that spreads for miles and was immune to all spells used against it.</p><p>Sirius tuned out again and his thoughts returned to his family. He started thinking about how he was going to stay home for next year’s break...Perhaps he could spread a rumor that he’d died?</p><p>Just as he was realizing that that would be logistically difficult, one of Patricia’s friends called her over and she patted James on the back before leaving. Sirius sighed and leaned back on his elbows. </p><p>And then he found his stress relief. He caught sight of Snape passing by.</p><p>“Hey, Snivellus,” He called out. The boy ignored him, “James and I just learned a grease removal spell. Think we can practice on you?” Snape still didn’t respond, but Sirius still snickered, his mood much improved.  </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Severus felt burning anger coursing through him. He tightened his grip on his wand but still told himself not to turn around and attempt a jinx on Black. </p><p>
  <em> Just focus on the destination. </em>
</p><p>Students were running around and throwing snowballs at each other, enjoying their Sunday. An icy white ball slammed into his shoulder and he heard a few boys laughing a meter or two away. </p><p>He grit his teeth. <em> Don’t turn around. </em></p><p>He finally made it to the greenhouse, empty save for Lily, who was observing a group of leaping toadstools. She noticed Severus and smiled, speaking as he walked over to join her at the table. </p><p>“Cute, aren’t they?” Severus hummed in agreement. Two of them appeared to be racing each other, “It’s too bad they have to be chopped up for potions.”</p><p>That last one Severus didn’t understand. The toadstools were barely sentient. Surely it didn’t matter if one or two died for the greater good. </p><p>The two sat in silence for a bit after that. Ever since September, Severus had been itching to inform Lily about The Eye Contact Incident, as he had named it, but he couldn’t bring himself to. What if she thought he was a freak? </p><p>“Oh I meant to tell you,” Lily said suddenly, “Professor Slughorn invited us both to a desert party next week.”</p><p>Severus cringed. Just the thought of being in a loud social setting made his stomach turn over, “I dunno...” </p><p>“Cmon, it’ll be fun. That sweet Hufflepuff, Nina, will be there and so will—”</p><p>“You'd prefer to spend time with her than with me?” Severus snapped before he could stop himself. </p><p>Lily froze, “No, I—of course not—I just—”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Severus interrupted her, regretting what he’d said, “You’re not locked down to me or anything.”</p><p>“No...no it’s fine. We don’t have to go,” with that, Lily got up, glancing back at him once before leaving. </p><p>Severus sighed and rested his head on his hands, very angry with himself. Why did he always have to ruin their interactions?</p><p>He noticed that one of the toadstools had stopped jumping about and was now staring at him, looking like it was raising an eyebrow. Severus flicked it away from him. </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>James stares at his notebook not wanting to believe it. </p><p>
  <em> November 21 - full moon, Remus gone </em>
</p><p>
  <em> January 19 - full moon, Remus gone  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> February 18 - full moon, Remus gone </em>
</p><p>And tonight,</p><p>
  <em> March 16 - full moon, Remus gone </em>
</p><p>It was impossible. Remus couldn’t be a…</p><p>Remus who always knew the right thing to say to get them to make up when any of them fought. Remus who would patiently explain charms when James hadn’t understood that day’s lesson. Remus, the only one of them who made sure his blanket was completely smoothed down when he made his bed. </p><p>He couldn’t be a werewolf. </p><p>Yet there was no other explanation. </p><p>James took a deep breath, “Guys, can we talk?”</p><p>And that’s how the three found themselves on April 15th under the invisibility cloak, trying not to step on each other’s toes as they followed their friend down one of the staircases leading to the front hall. </p><p>Madam Pomfrey was waiting for Remus right in front of the door to the outside. The five of them travelled across the grounds, the grass wet with the day’s spring shower. </p><p>Their destination was….the whomping willow? Knowing of its violent tendencies, students rarely approached the sensitive tree. Yet both Madam Pomfrey and Remus Lupin approached it like it was easy as entering one’s home. Well, Remus looked a bit uneasy. </p><p>From a few meters away, James observed the woman as she crouched, placing her hand against something out of sight, and some sort of tunnel opened up in the tree. Remus disappeared inside. </p><p>A minute or two after the school nurse walked away, the three heard a short cry like something, or someone, was in deep pain. </p><p>Before he could stop himself, James pushed the cloak off and walked closer to the tree.  </p><p>He turned around and the three children looked at each other with identical expressions. </p><p>None of them wanted to believe it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Realized I did a name reveal so might as well go the whole nine yards. Hi, I'm Klara!<br/>As usual, thanks for reading.<br/>Question today: Have you ever had a toxic friend? (Yeah I don't know if you can tell but Severus and Lily are a bit of a toxic relationship in here). If so, how did you deal with it?<br/>As long as you're okay with sharing that is.<br/>Chapter title taken from Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison.<br/>See you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Just another product of today, rather be the hunter than the prey.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The year finishes up and we finally see some quidditch.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They figured it was better to tell him sooner rather than later. So just three days after The Revelation, the three gathered in their dormitory to let the cat out of the bag. They agreed Peter would initiate the conversation, as he was, hands down, the least intimidating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey...er...Remus?” He began. Remus said nothing but looked up from his book, “We er...we just thought we should—” the boy stopped mid-sentence and looked to James desperately. Evidently, Peter’s cowardice had gotten the best of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James sighed and stepped in to save him, “We know about your...” he paused. He hadn’t considered what he should call it, “Your full moon furry little problem,” Sirius chokes back a laugh and James inwardly cringed. He hadn’t meant it to come out like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus closed his book and set it aside, “I figured as much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Peter gasped, “How did you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You three need to work on your stealth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James was a little more than surprised by Remus’s response. He had expected denial. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’m guessing you’re all scared of me now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” James exclaimed. He wasn’t lying. Despite Remus’s rough exterior and dry humor, James knew him well enough to know that there wasn’t an ounce of malice or violent potential in his body. His human body that is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I almost couldn’t come to school,” Remus told them, “We’ve had to make sure no one finds out. Werewolves...they um, it’s hard for them to be accepted, get a job, you know? I guess it’s just how they’re viewed by everybody else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation came to an uncomfortable close, but there was still a tangible aura of relief from all four children. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d only started using his skill three weeks ago but Severus had to admit that he loved the feeling of power he experienced after winning a fight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d figured out the exact formula through extensive experimentation: it required eye contact, and only ever worked when he felt extremely angry, determined, and very very confident. Those moments were rare, mostly due to that last one, but they still felt amazing when they did come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was one person it never worked with, however. James Potter. Severus wasn’t sure what component of the black-haired boy made his stomach tumble to the floor and rids him of all self-confidence. Regardless, he faced many embarrassing defeats because of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He’d planned on telling Malfoy about it. Perhaps he would know what was going on and give some insight into why exactly Severus had a tiny voice in his head assisting him in fights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spent a few minutes on the other side of the common room, feeling the strangely relaxing smell of the lake fill his nostrils, and waiting for Lucius to be left alone by his friends and that girl he’s interested in, Black’s cousin as it turns out, Narcissa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond-haired seventh year was finally left alone and Severus made his way over. Malfoy said nothing but simply gestured for the younger student to sit down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to speak to me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus gnawed on his lip for a moment, “Yeah, I...” but then he trailed off, a thought suddenly occurring to him. No...no why should he tell Malfoy? Severus was independent. He could figure it out by himself. He really had no reason to believe that Malfoy would never use this information against him. Severus should know better than to trust some man whom he’d seen coldly look down upon many a first year if they lost their way around the halls or forgot the common room password. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. He would take care of this himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus stood up, “Nevermind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he walked away, Snape didn’t have to turn around to know that Malfoy was staring at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus had gotten a suspicious look from Madam Pomfrey upon telling her that he felt he could go out alone this month, but in the end, the four second-years had managed to leave the castle without James, Sirius, or Peter being discovered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once a safe distance away, the three pulled off the invisibility cloak and caught up. Excitement brewing in his belly, James glances up at the full moon, dim and faded against the still early evening sky. It was the last full moon of the school year and the three boys were eager to join their friend on his monthly journey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James looked round at his companions. Sirius was trying to keep on a cool look, but James knew the shaggy-haired thirteen-year-old well enough to know that Sirius was just as excited as himself. Peter appeared to be a bit nervous, and Remus….well, his expression was unreadable. They finally made it to the tree that even the fiercest of seventh-years feared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, er,” Peter began, “How do you do it without getting um...mauled?” He said the last word in a very quiet voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll show you,” Remus said, matching Peter’s pitch, but with more confidence. He slowly approached the Whomping Willow with the rest of the group behind him. The tree shifted its beaches threateningly, but didn’t attack them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus knelt down carefully and pressed his hand against one of the knots connected to the roots. The same tunnel they had seen last month opened up. About to crawl in, Remus looked back at the rest of the lot, “see you tomorrow then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way,” James retaliated, “C’mon at least show us.” Remus sighed, entered the tunnel and beckoned the others in. Sirius and James quickly followed him, and Peter did the same after a slight hesitation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After making it through the tunnel, the four found themselves following their leader up a short staircase into a room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a surprisingly nice place in James’s opinion. Sure the wallpaper was peeling and most of the furniture was missing at least a leg or two, but it was much more pleasant than what James had expected of a secret werewolf hideout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait a second,” Sirius exclaimed suddenly, “this is the Shrieking Shack! Everyone’s scared of this place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, mate, Remus is a pretty terrifying bloke,” James responded. He had meant it as a joke, but judging by Remus’s ashamed expression, he clearly thought Janes was serious, referring to the lycanthropy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry. The whole shrieking thing is my fault,” he said, “you could say it’s a kind of painful process.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Believable. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s pretty cool if you think about it,” James piped up trying to redeem himself after his earlier comment, “I mean, you're the only one who knows the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” said Remus, clearly thoroughly unconvinced. He gave a small grunt of pain and lowered himself into a chair, “You guys have to go,” he looked up at the other three. James couldn’t help but notice that his eyes had turned slightly from green to yellow, “It’s gonna start soon,” he groaned in discomfort, “Close the door,” he added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter led the way to the room’s exit. James turned back around and tried to give what he hoped was an encouraging smile to his friend, but Remus wasn’t looking at him. His head was now resting in his crossed arms on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James knew he would get in trouble for skipping class, but he needed some alone time and could easily catch up on herbology anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was challenging himself to score while flying low to the ground, mostly to avoid being seen by any teachers who may be peeking out the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James tossed the stolen quaffle underhand. Unsurprising, it bounced off the ring and headed towards the ground, spinning wildly. The boy was distracted anyway. He had been ever since the full moon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught the quaffle and returned to his former position, about a meter away and two below the third hoop. He was determined to get this shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t get the last few moments of his visit to the Shrieking Shack out of his head. If the look on Remus’s face had bothered Sirius and Peter as much as it had James, they weren’t mentioning it. There was more than just pain there. He had seen loneliness too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James tried an overhand throw this time. The metallic sound of the ball hitting the ring rang out and the quaffle fell right back into the Gryffindor chaser’s hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James was the type of person who had the strong urge to fix any really important problem he saw, especially when it came to his friends, but he knew there was no way of solving this one. Who could keep a werewolf company at the full moon?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James missed on the next shot, and felt frustration rise up inside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew werewolves attack any human they see but he wondered about their behavior around other animals. Did they have any interest in them?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to score one more time and sighed when he missed yet again. James touched down on the ground and picked up the quaffle that he hadn’t bothered to catch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made his way back to the changing room to drop the ball off. James hated the library with a passion (who in their right mind reads for recreation?), but had a feeling he may have to step in there for the first time. There were two weeks left of term and he was determined to answer that last question before it was up. There was a bit of an insane idea brewing inside of him…..</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was in the midst of finals while writing this chapter, so it’s not great but now they’re over so I’ll try to up the quality a bit. <br/>Warning, from here on the story is about to get very very dark (will probably update the tags). I assure you, there will still be some fun parts but well, we all know how this tale ultimately ends. <br/>What is everyone doing during quarantine? How are you lot surviving. <br/>Thanks for reading!<br/>-Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.....sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Summer vacation. I wonder how this will go...<br/>TW: Self harm, domestic violence. If you are sensitive to any of that, proceed with caution.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Severus focused hard on the rabbit a few meters away from him. With the school year over and himself back at home, he had to say he had become a bit obsessed with his newfound ability. In truth, he no longer cared about what it was. The thing he was focused on was how far he could take it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His Little Voice wasn’t showing up in regards to the rabbit so maybe it just worked on humans? Or just in combative situations more likely.  Considering the state of his home life, those moments shouldn’t be hard to come by, but on those days his mother worked hard to ensure that Severus wasn’t around his father when the man was in one of his….moods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily would have been a good distraction but lately she was busy attempting to repair her relationship with her sister. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The relationship you ruined, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Severus couldn’t help but think to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No...no of course it hadn’t been his fault. Petunia was a muggle after all and Severus knew enough to be sure that personal connections between wizards and muggles were always bound to fail. It was unnatural. The two types of people simply couldn’t relate. Lily would give up eventually and then she’d spend more time with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a way he felt bad for her. His friend had no magical parent, while he at least had his mum. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus thoughtfully tapped his wand against the yellowing grass he was sitting in. Maybe there was some sort of spell to improve his skill, whatever it was…..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus!” He recognized his mother’s voice and turned his head back towards the house. The boy winced as he noticed the dark bruise on his mum’s cheek, “come in for supper, dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus stood up, not bothering to brush the grass off of his trousers, and made his way to his back door, the evening breeze uncomfortably cold against his neck and arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James Potter had solidified the plan by the first week of July. After some reading, he had learned it was certainly possible. The only question was how to go about it. None of the books had explained the process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He supposed he could have told his friends about it. Maybe they could have helped? But the young Gryffindor didn’t want to give any false hope. Luckily, he had a backup method. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, the said method was currently sitting at the dining room table, chatting with his brother Fleamont and enjoying Euphemia’s pot roast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James had always supposed he had gotten his trouble-maker genes from his Uncle Charlus, if that was possible. His parents had never approved of his mischievous ways, while his uncle had given him helpful prank advice over the years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James waited until the meal was over before making his move. The two of them were now alone in the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Charlus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” The grey-haired man said, putting down the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Daily Prophet. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erm..” James wondered how he should introduce this. It was pretty random after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whatever, just go for it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What d’you know about….Animagi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charlus grinned at that and leaned onto his elbows, a youthful glint in his eye, “What do you want to learn?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius looked down at the paper clutched in his hand for the hundredth time. He wondered if there was some way he could forge a guardian’s signature on the Hogsmeade permission slip, but realized Filch probably had ways of finding out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy breathed out slowly and left his room. He knew he’d be better off going to his father with the form, but unfortunately Orion was away that summer. So his mother it was. As much as he didn’t enjoy their interactions, he hated the thought of his friends leaving for the village without him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He entered the kitchen. Walburga had her back to him but it was evident by sound that she was cutting something up using her wand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mum?” Sirius tentatively began. His mother stilled her movements but didn’t turn around. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No going back now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly approached her, “I was wondering if you could…” he hesitated once more, “sign my Hogsmeade form?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman turned to him and cocked her head to the side, considering her son. He inwardly cringed when he smelled the alcohol on her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damnit. Bad time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now why would I do something like that,” the dark-haired woman’s voice was dangerously slow, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>for a filthy blood traitor like you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation was clearly over. As she turned back around, Sirius felt a sharp pain. He forced himself not to cry out as he looked down and realized there was a deep cut across his forearm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oops,” Walburga giggled childishly, “better go get that cleaned up, dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t bother pulling out his wand. Sirius just turned and half stormed-half ran upstairs, burning red anger flaring up inside of him. He ignored his little brother’s questions and just shut the door to his room before slamming his fist into the wall out of frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He regretted the action immediately, as it made the pain in his arm go from bad to worse. Wait...wait it wasn’t just pain. There was something else there…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius slowly pushed his fingernail into the gash and slowly moved it along, ripping apart more of the skin. He grimaced. First pain and then….there it was again. Stronger now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A third go...and now he had a name for the feeling:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Power </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She can’t hurt me if I do it first</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sank down until he was sat on his bed, his eyes slowly moving to look at his school bag, where he knew his potions knife lay in the front pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No...no this is crazy, you can’t do this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop that, it’s no big deal</span>
  </em>
  <span> he told himself. It would be just for now. Just until he gets back to Hogwarts. Everything will be okay once he’s back at Hogwarts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy raised his arm and examined the cut. The way the blood slowly ran down his arm was almost hypnotic. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So, I’m a blood traitor, Mum?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thought, unconsciously smiling, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine then. I’ll be one hell of a blood traitor. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter title from Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. <br/>This one hurt a lot to write. No matter how bad things get or however you’re feeling, never turn to self-harm. Reach out to someone. I promise you there are other ways to help.  <br/>-Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Does anybody have a map? Anybody happen to know how the hell to do this?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On to year three!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“We’re doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Peter exclaimed giving James a you’re-insane look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> crazy,” James said, handing his friend the book gifted to him by his uncle, “It’s just a simple process.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Simple?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Peter almost shouted. He set the book on the dormitory floor and looked into it before looking back at James, “Becoming an animagus isn’t exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys really don’t have to do this,” Remus quietly said before the other boy could continue </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too bad, we want to,” Sirius replied. James was relieved that Sirius had enthusiastically jumped at the idea when he’d introduced it that evening, “Come on, Peter, it’ll be fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter read from the page out loud, “‘Carry a single mandrake in your mouth for a month from full moon to full moon, find a small crystal that receives pure rays of the moon,’ whatever that means, ‘then—’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James cut him off, “Look, I’ll go first,” the third-year had read it earlier but he had to admit, hearing what they would have to do spelled out so bluntly was quite nerve-racking. Regardless, he feigned confidence, “You guys will just explain away my not talking for a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how are we supposed to do that?” Peter challenged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, say I’m resting my voice to try out for Flitwick’s choir or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Flitwick doesn’t have a choir,” Sirius pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, then say I’m starting Flitwicks choir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talking won’t be the primary difficulty,” Remus said thoughtfully. Having accepted that his friends were determined to follow through with the idea, he was now peering into the book over Peter’s shoulder, “Eating will be harder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James waved his hand, dismissing the thought, “Eh, I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Eating indeed turned out to be significantly harder than talking. Two weeks after that conversation, James found himself looking down at his pancakes without the slightest clue of how to do it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could try pushing it against your cheek,” Peter suggested, now reluctantly helpful.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Here goes nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>James tried it but his heart sank afterward upon realizing his mouth was completely empty. He looked over at Sirius who was seated next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Swallowed it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Swallowed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus thought back on what had led to where he was now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t been his fault. He hadn’t started the fight. Just maybe...</span>
  <em>
    <span>escalated </span>
  </em>
  <span>it a bit. At any rate, he’d been looking that slytherin, Mulciber, in the eye, trying to read his next move, when just as he was about to get it—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus turned around. Of all people, Dumbledore had appeared behind him. Students quickly and quietly dispersed. Though no one had ever seen him get particularly angry, all the kids were a bit fearful, or perhaps the better term would be a bit in awe, of the headmaster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus hadn’t known which to be more surprised about: that Dumbledore knew his first name or that the man had been seen roaming about the castle. The esteemed headmaster was rarely if ever caught in the hallways. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus knew he was probably in trouble, but wouldn’t his head of house be administering the punishment? Slughorn was fond of Severus and generally let him off easy but the boy had no idea how he would weasel his way out of this one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, instead of outright giving him detention, Professor Dumbledore calmly said “Please see me in my office at 8 tonight,” before walking off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So here Severus was, getting closer to the office, his nerves growing with every step. He caught sight of the headmaster standing in front of the two gargoyles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good evening, Severus.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good—good evening, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is he being so nice?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The man stated “candy floss,” the twin statues stepped out of the way, and the pair walked up the short staircase with Severus following at a bit of a distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore held the door open for the thirteen-year-old and Severus entered the office. He couldn’t help but slightly marvel at the interior, as he had never seen it before. There were odd noises spiraling about the circular room and mysterious instruments glistened on various tables. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The headmaster brushed past him and sat down at his desk, motioning to the shake in front of it. Severus shook himself out of his thoughts as he made his way over there. He wasn’t here for the scenery after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was seated, the Dumbledore began to speak:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you may be aware, in the corridor today, I noticed a certain skirmish you were engaged in with another boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I..I realize that and er... I—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not wish to punish you, Severus.” Severus looked up, surprised. The man rose from his seat and began walking around the room, seeming not to be heading anywhere in particular. He brushed his hand against a few of the instruments Severus had noticed earlier, as he passed them. Without looking at the boy, he continued, “There is a certain area of magic that, from what I’ve observed, I believe you’ve come across during your time here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Huh...maybe he is in the hallways more often. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The headmaster went on, “I wonder, Severus…” he finally turned towards the third-year, “if perhaps you ever find yourself being able to...peel back certain layers of other people’s minds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait...was he...was he about to find some answers? No that...that couldn’t be what his thing was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, Severus stood up and started walking towards the older man without being invited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ever able,” he said patiently, “to feel what another person is feeling? Maybe able to predict their next action?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Severus immediately exclaimed, too excited at finally being able to reveal this fact about himself, that he forgot to be respectful, “Well, not the feeling thing but the predicting. What is that?” He was starving for some logic behind it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore answered calmly, as though he had already known what Severus’s response would be, “I think you may have a natural gift for a type of magic known as Legilimency.,” He elaborated upon viewing Severus’s puzzled expression, “It is what a muggle might call mind reading but a bit more complicated than how they may perceive it to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What? He was naturally gifted at something? Severus had always considered himself to be quite ordinary. But maybe...maybe he was more special that he thought he was…..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It may be...beneficial,” the headmaster went on, clearly choosing his words carefully, “for you to develop that talent. Dive into that area,” He walked a bit closer to the boy, “I’d like you to come to my office tomorrow night at this same time.” Unsure of what to say, Severus nodded and turned to go, but Dumbledore's voice halted him, “Severus,” he turned back to face the man, “I’m giving you this because I trust you. I’m sure you understand how devastating it would be should this skill fall into the wrong hands.” The boy nodded again and left the office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Dumbledore could trust him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course he would never misuse it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a good person after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The urges had continued all summer but now they were gone. Sirius wasn’t sure if this was due to being busy or being around his friends. Regardless, moments like the current one made him wonder how he could ever have had those feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Another surprise already?” He asked James, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise you’ll like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wet grass squelched under their sneakers. It had been raining incessantly ever since school started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair arrived at their destination. The...quidditch changing room? James briskly walked across it and placed his hand on the doorknob to a large closet hidden behind a few lockers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one uses this one,” He assured Sirius before dramatically opening the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius stares at the contents, “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a motorbike.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s a motorbike?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James laughed hard at his own joke and Sirius elbowed him, “Alright alright, muggles use it for transportation. It’s like a bicycle but you go really fast,” he explained, “found it demolished a few blocks away from home. Figured I’d bring it because, you know, you like muggle stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well Sirius couldn’t deny that. He reached out to touch the grey handlebars, “it’s cool,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>understatement,</span>
  </em>
  <span> “how’d you get it here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have my ways,” said James, not elaborating, “anyway, reparo put together the outside but it still doesn’t work,” He turned to face his friend, “So we’re gonna fix it this year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snorted a laugh but then realized James was serious, “let me get this straight. This year we’re becoming Animagi </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> fixing a motorbike?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” James crossed his arms, “You got a problem with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius laughed in slight disbelief, “Well I guess I don’t really have a choice, do I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her lungs were screaming for oxygen, her body ached from trying to escape, she felt her consciousness slipping away. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lily was drowning. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She could help her! All Petunia had to do was bend down slightly from her perch on the land. She could pull her sister to safety. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But she turned away. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything started to go black….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily jerked awake, soaked in sweat. She put her head in her hands. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just a dream, it was just a dream. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But she knew it wasn’t just a dream. It had been two years and, as summer vacation had proven, her sister still hadn’t forgiven her. Lily didn’t know if she ever would. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!<br/>I know things are getting a little crazy with the riots. Everyone stay safe. <br/>Chapter title from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. <br/>-Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Line</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James and Sirius get some advice.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this one’s out late. I’ve just had a lot going on at home.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A seventh year called Rowena Goldstein caught up to Sirius and James as they headed to transfiguration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She addressed the latter, “Hey, James. How’s Flitwick’s choir coming along?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius snickered as his friend stuttered a response, “Er..it didn’t work out in the end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh that’s too bad,” Rowena replied quickly, clearly eager to discuss something else, “So I’ve been putting off quidditch tryouts—just because of the weather you know,” oh that’s right. She must be quidditch captain this year. Sirius has always enjoyed following the sport but never had any interest in playing. Besides, he could never make that kind of commitment. The blond-haired girl continued, “but we need a new seeker and a beater, so I want to hold them as soon as possible, and I want everyone to be there so does 11:00 Sunday work? Okay, thanks, bye.” Without waiting for an answer, the seventeen-year-old darted off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Passionate, that one,” Sirius commented, adjusting his bag into a more comfortable position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t get detention with McGonagall again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, that was a one-time thing,” James responded defensively, “and it was totally worth it to see a desk explode,” he added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius hummed in agreement. After a few moments, he suddenly remembered, “Wait, Sunday is the day Trish asked us to meet with her!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s in the afternoon. We’ll be finished by then,” James reassured him. Then almost as an afterthought, “Hey, what do you think she wants to talk to us about anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t a clue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Come to think of it, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bit odd that Patricia had asked that they meet her right outside the forbidden forest…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, tryouts were finished in time and three days later, James and Sirius were sauntering across the grounds towards where they were supposed to meet Rakepick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James had found tryouts to be far more enjoyable this year. It turns out observing feels much better with the knowledge that you’re already on the team. The group had gained two fourth years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, we should tell her about the er...full moon project,” Sirius voiced as they made their way down the hill, “Maybe she can help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James had considered doing so, but he wasn’t sure, “I dunno…” he began, “that would mean telling her about Remus’s...condition.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on,” Sirius responded. Probably just to show off, he vaulted over one of the giant pumpkins the two had been explicitly told to stay away from multiple times, “what harm could that do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you’re right,” said James, copying Sirius’s jump. Of course they could tell her. If there was anyone they could trust, it was Patricia Rakepick. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The seventh-year was waiting for the two as they approached her, drumming her fingers impatiently on a tree trunk just outside the Forbidden Forest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh good, you’re here,” she immediately exclaimed upon seeing them, “let’s go,” She turned on her heel and walked forward, about to enter the forest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, hang on,” James said, quickly reaching out an arm to hold back Sirius, who had instinctively tried to follow Rakepick. He looked at James questioningly, but the dark-haired boy ignored his friend, “Where are we going?” James may have been a troublemaker but he knew better than to just stroll into the Forbidden Forest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patricia cocked her head to one side, confused, “I didn’t tell you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No...you didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh…” Patricia absentmindedly looked in the direction of the forest before turning back to them, “We’re gonna go look for the forest vault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James was taken aback. It was one thing for Trish to talk about her theory as excitedly as she does but this was another step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait...there was nothing weird, of course there was nothing weird about this. Patricia had never let them down as a role model. And of course she always had their best interests in mind…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then why were there warning bells going off in James’s head?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno…” he said uncertainly. Sirius raised his eyebrows at him but didn’t add anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Patricia’s expression changed. It grew harder and sharper, “I didn’t think you were the type to be scared, James.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I—I mean,” James immediately said, not wanting to lose their coolest friend, “Sirius and I’ve got some studying to do. Maybe we can do it later or—?” James was cut off by a voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi, James, Sirius, c’mere, I’ve got somethin’ ter show ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James turned to see Hagrid calling to them from down the hill. Relieved at the excuse to leave, he grabbed Sirius’s sleeve and quickly started to make his way towards the gamekeeper. A glance behind them told James that Patricia had been thoroughly unconvinced by that last statement. Her, slightly nerve racking, expression remained the same and her eyes followed the two as they walked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that all about?” Sirius whispered to his friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just...I just had a bad feeling about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, mate. Whatever you say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hagrid led the three to his hut. James’s parents had Hagrid round for dinner many a time, so James knew the gamekeeper, though they had never been particularly close. He was confused as to what the half-giant felt necessary to show them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once inside the small house, the boys sat down at the table and Hagrid began making tea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So er…” James began, “what did you want to show us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh?” Hagrid said. He turned back to them, “To be honest, not anything. I just wanted ter get ya away from that girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patricia?” Sirius questioned, “why? What’s wrong with her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hagrid sat down across from them, “That kid’s no good, boys,” He said ominously, “she talk to you about her favorite topic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah” said James, “Her cursed vaults theory?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well it’s a bit more than a theory to her,” the gamekeeper replied, “Kid was normal a few years back, but she started pokin’ around a bit and now it’s her all-out obsession.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” said the young Potter, “are you saying they’re real?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sayin’ it don’t matter,” Hagrid explained somewhat impatiently, “If they’re real, they’re dark. Which means that girl is up to somethin’ dark,” He got up at the kettle’s quiet screech, “We don‘t go lookin’ for things like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius and James shared a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was darker out by the time the two were trudging back to the castle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t get how this is any different from the stuff we normally do,” Sirius said to James. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t like locking Professor Sylvester in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom,” James responded, not understand how Sirius was having so much trouble grasping a concept he was comprehending easily. He stopped moving and turned to his friend to better make his point, “There’s a line,” he said, “and I...I think we need to establish that,” He resumed his walking, “It’s like Hagrid said. I don’t touch dark stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sky slowly but surely turned violet as the duo made their way back. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it’s short. I just wanted to get it out before it was super late</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Author’s note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey guys,</p><p>I’m going to have to take a hiatus for a bit. A very young family member of mine just died very suddenly, and I need to take some time off to spend with my family.</p><p>I hope you understand and I will hopefully come back to this work very soon. </p><p>Thank you</p><p>-Klara</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. There’s a cynical feeling saying I should give up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m back!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Legilimency lessons were draining to say the least. After being told of his natural aptitude towards the subject, Severus hadn’t expected it to be so difficult to peer into someone else’s mind. His first hundred or so tries had gone something like this:<br/>Severus would take a deep breath, make eye contact with Dumbledore, cast the spell, catch a glimpse of a faded memory or maybe hear a word or two of what the old man was thinking, and then the boy would come back to himself, usually falling to the floor out of exhaustion. <br/>And then Dumbledore would say that Severus shouldn’t worry and that he was making great progress. Severus didn’t believe him. It was already December and the boy had thought that by now he’d have been able to travel deeper into Dumbledore's mind. <br/>The little he had seen of the headmaster’s memories was quite intriguing. A family of five posing for a painting. Two teenage boys sitting next to each other laughing at some undisclosed joke. An adult Dumbledore working with an individual student on what looked to be transfiguration. <br/>Dumbledore never explained them and Severus never asked. <br/>The thirteen-year-old was currently thinking much of this over in the slytherin common room, sitting with his potions book open, not reading. <br/>“Hey, Snape,” He looked up to see that Ralph Snicket was now sitting next to him, “Think you could explain the Girding Potion to me?” His fellow third-year asked. <br/>Severus nodded and leaned over the textbook. It wasn’t the first time something like this had been requested of him. By now he was easily the best at potions in his slytherin grade, perhaps even in his entire house, as Slughorn often said. <br/>He was frequently invited to the so-called “Slug Club” parties, and indeed attended a few. But eventually he stopped going, sick of the condescending looks many of the other students gave him. And why? Because he didn’t come from some sort of legendary family? <br/>Lily had said she felt guilty going without him, but Severus had told her that he didn’t mind and she should continue attending. In actuality, the mostly-friendless boy wished she would stay with him, but he figured letting her go was the nice thing to do. <br/>And anyway, it would make her like him more, right?<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>After Christmas vacation, James noticed two things. <br/>The good news first. <br/>Ever since they had started their “full moon project,” Remus seemed more comfortable with his three friends. He laughed more easily and joined them in more of their schemes (though he did remain an amazing student and the teachers still loved him.)<br/>Aaaand, now the bad news. <br/>Sirius was covered in a sickening amount of bruises. They lined his face, chest, stomach, back, rib cage, knees, everywhere. The most disturbing part was that many of them were in distinct shapes that James didn’t like to think about. There were cuts too, which he definitely hadn’t had any of last year. Suffice to say James cringed whenever his friend changed in front of him. <br/>Oh, he had one more problem these days. <br/>In the past four months, James had swallowed four mandrake leaves. On the full moon of January, Sirius gently said:<br/>“Maybe I should try this time?”<br/>James sighed and handed the leaf over. As much as he’d wanted to be the first one of them to complete the transformation, he had to admit it was proving to be more difficult than he had thought initially. <br/>“Right then,” Sirius said. He popped the leaf in his mouth and almost immediately gagged. Thankfully managing to keep it in his mouth he turned to James, “how’d you tolerate the taste, man?”<br/>“What?” James said, getting defensive, “it’s just like toothpaste!”<br/>“It does not taste like toothpaste.”<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>While his two friends argued over whether or not the mandrake leaf did in fact taste like toothpaste, Peter checked his watch for the millionth time, noting that it read 10:54. He had another hour and a half before he was expected to meet Patricia and some others in the charms classroom. <br/>The seventh year had been vague on what the group would be doing, only whispered to him that evening that he should come and they wanted him there. <br/>They wanted him there. <br/>Peter couldn’t lie, it felt good to be wanted...treated like an equal. And it felt even better with the knowledge that he was the only one of the dorm-mates who had been invited. <br/>R...that’s what Trish had called it the other day. No full name, just the organization “R”. It only made Peter more curious about what would happen at 12:30….</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So yeah, hiatus over. Thanks for sticking with me!<br/>I’ve moved to study abroad recently and still trying to adjust to that so idk how often chapters will go up.<br/>Title from Cynical by Blink 182<br/>-Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Here's to the land you've torn out the heart of</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TW Self harm. Last sentence of the chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sirius had received the letter on the morning of January 31st. James had watched his friend stare at the envelope for a few moments before pocketing it unopened and cheerfully rejoining the conversation. So the young Potter has decided not to mention the note. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius opened the letter that night. The others were engrossed in a conversation about potions, but James saw Sirius scan the paper’s contents for a few moments; saw him stand up from his bed with an expression James had never before seen on Sirius’s face; saw him abruptly exit the room and heard him running down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the moment James realized something was seriously wrong, and decided to pursue him. When the boy made it to the common room, Sirius wasn’t there but James caught sight of the letter slowly burning up in the fireplace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James knew his friend well enough to first check the outdoor grounds, and sure enough that’s where Sirius was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was seated on the wet grass (thankfully it hadn’t snowed much as of late. Just rained a lot) with his back to James. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thirteen-year-old cautiously approached his friend and sat down next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he said quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” responded Sirius in a whisper. He leaned back on his elbows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James looked up. Back in Godric’s Hollow there was too much light at night to properly see the stars but here he could see thousands of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was clear Sirius was viewing the same sight as him, “Did you know that loads of stars are actually dead?” Sirius said out of nowhere, “They explode into big balls of light but the light takes so long to reach us that we don’t even see it, and it just looks like they’re still shining. Muggles learn about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s weird,” James responded, not sure what else to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two boys were silent for a bit after that. They were both now lying on their backs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what could have been minutes or hours, Sirius pointed upwards. “That one’s mine,” he stated, “the constellation I mean. It’s called Sirius.” James tried to follow where Sirius was pointing, but was unable to view the exact location of the constellation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he said, again uncertain of how best to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius moved his finger to a different section of the sky, “And that one’s Regulus.” When James replied with nothing, Sirius dropped his hand back to the ground. There were another few moments of silence until Sirius finally spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not allowed to talk to him anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait...was Sirius...choking up? Just then James realized that he’d never seen his friend cry before in all the years they’d known each other. He turned his head to look at the boy next to him. Sirius’s eyes were still fixated on the sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At school, at least. Mum said I’d regret it if I tried to interact with him,” Sirius laughed humorlessly, “Guess I’m a bad influence or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So that’s what was in the letter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>James wasn’t sure what to say. He’d never had a brother or sister so he could relate in no way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m...sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not your fault,” Sirius still wasn’t looking at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a few minutes of silence before James decided distraction was what his friend required now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the next Hogsmeade trip is coming up,” James sat up and leaned on his left elbow so that he was facing the other boy, “I figured out a way you can come this time.” Sirius hadn’t gotten his form signed and James hadn’t pried for the answer to why (but he had some idea). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah?” Sirius sat up, obviously pretending to be interested in the conversation. James presses on regardless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So remember last year Trish was telling us about a passageway on the fourth floor but she had to go before she could finish?” James ignored the feeling of taboo when he said Patricia’s name. The seventh year hadn’t spoken to them ever since the incident by the forest, “So, I checked it out the other day, and it turns out it leads straight into the village post office.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good,” Sirius responded quietly, his mind clearly still on Regulus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dead stars go on shining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d decided it was Peter’s turn with the mandrake leaf in March (Sirius hadn’t been able to last it through) which was good because it meant James and Sirius had time to work on the motorbike. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well it was mostly Sirius working on it. James would sit around talking about random things while Sirius worked. Sirius had grown fond of the bike and was a bit of a control freak anyway so he didn’t particularly mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had discovered that probably the best way to fix it up would be to fully take it apart and repair each part individually. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James was currently giving a play-by-play of the last quidditch match Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So anyway, Rowena gives this pep talk, right, and she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span> at pep talks, you gotta understand, so we were just….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius wasn’t really listening to James’s chatter but rather examining the piece in his hands. According to his muggle studies textbook, it was a motor. The cylinder was complicated, with random sticks sticking out and loose pieces inside. He pulled out what he believed was called a battery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Reparo,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he muttered before setting the piece aside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His movements became more robotic. He was quite good at this. Unfortunately, that meant he got lost in his thoughts. More specifically, one particular memory…..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was three months since he’d gotten the letter and last week he’d tried rebelling for the first time. It was just an experiment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Regulus had passed him in the hallway, Sirius had taken a deep breath and said, “Hey Regu—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he’d been able to finish the sentence, he’d felt a sharp white pain course through his body. It was somehow hot and cold both at once but more than anything it hurt. It hurt a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t meant for James to figure it out but there had been no hiding his immediate reaction in the hallway. They’d talked that night in the dormitory before their two friends had arrived. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, if it’s a jinx then that means there’s a counter-jinx!” The black-haired boy insisted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave it, James,” Sirius muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go to Professor Sylvester after class tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll know what to do about—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said leave it!” Sirius exclaimed loudly this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you two shouting about?” Remus asked, entering the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About how Sirius is a damn idio—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Sirius cut him off, fixing James with a glare. Remus raised his eyebrows. James huffed and went to change into pajamas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night Sirius had cut himself again. For the first time in Hogwarts. He’d done it in the bathroom. And by God, it had felt good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Control. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this one is short. Few days from getting out of my two-week quarantine though!<br/>Question of the day: To those who have any sibling older or younger, what would it feel like to lose them as a friend?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. ‘Cause the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The school year finishes off.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Patricia ran down the corridor. She’d seen too much. She had to warn them again, perhaps for the final time. Term would end in a week. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Cursed Vaults were no longer the stuff of dreams and fantasies. They were real. They were dangerous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In truth, she’d been trying to warn the teachers for years now, but none of them would take her seriously. That was the problem with adults wasn’t it? Merlin, she was eighteen years old and they still treated her like a child!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached McGonagall’s offic and took a moment to catch her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She entered and immediately spoke, “Professor—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms Ratepick,” The woman interrupted her, “I would’ve thought you’d be off packing today.” McGonagall raised an eyebrow and Patricia knew that the professor had an idea of what she had come to discuss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is important! The vaults. They’re real. I have proof this ti—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms. Ratepick,” Professor McGonagall rose from her seat, “We’ve loved having you here and I know that you will make an excellent auror next year. But we’ve had this conversation before, and I will tell you again: The goings on at Hogwarts is none of your concern.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go join your friends, Ratepick,” the woman retained her composure, “you don’t have much time left with them here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The red head’s expression changed, her head now turned to the side and her eyes narrow, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” and with that she left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>McGonagall sat down at her desk and sighed. The woman knew the vaults were real. Was she wrong for wanting to maintain a teenager’s innocence?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, Ratepick had seen something unusual this time. Something that had brought a terrified expression to the normally fearless Gryffindor’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>McGonagall stood and decisively walked to the headmaster’s office. This was a conundrum she couldn’t fix on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus had much improved by June. He was no longer exhausted after his lessons with Dumbledore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In his last session of the year, things took a turn. Dumbledore greeted him with his usual smile but he was seated instead of standing. He looked altogether exhausted. Severus wondered what had happened that day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, they began the lesson. On his first few dips into his professor’s mind, Severus had done well. The last one went oddly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It started out normal, a look into a few memories, but it went deeper and darker. A teenage Dumbledore scoffing and turning away from a young girl. Two boys talking, both with a hint of something strange glinting in their eyes. Severus knew he was probably seeing things he shouldn’t be but he was honestly curious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then it became worse. The boys, now men, clearly turned foes. Red and green spells flashing through his vision. And then the worst one. A memory completely black with just a horrifying scream: “ARIANA!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus immediately withdrew, not wanting to see anymore. Upon returning to reality, he stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. He looked up to see the headmaster still seated, breathing heavily with his head resting in one hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spoke after a moment, “I...I apologize, Severus….I allowed you to venture too far.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Professor….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a relaxing summer, Severus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was the boy’s cue to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The summer had not been going well for a certain 14-year-old.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily lowered herself into a chair at the table across from where Petunia was sat reading. The red-haired girl opened her mouth to speak but before she could, her sister sighed, shut her book, and walked off, her nose in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily instinctively got up to follow her….but then stopped herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thought for a moment and then sat back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that moment she decided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was done being walked all over like some sort of human doormat. Petunia wanted to hate her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well fine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That feeling could be mutual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily returned to her room and began her potions summer homework. She only had one week left to complete it after all. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So yeah, I’ve returned. Will hopefully post again soon.<br/>The Patricia thing is the storyline behind Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery video game, so you may not understand it but it’s not very important for the main plot so don’t worry about it.<br/>Chapter title from Twenty One Pilots’ Ode To Sleep.<br/>Stay safe,<br/>Klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. New Year, New You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You got tall.”</p><p>“Lovely to see you too, James.”</p><p>In James’s defense, Sirius <em> had </em> grown quite a bit over the summer, now a good half a head taller than the young Potter. </p><p>“We missed you on the train today,” Sirius prompted as the two made their way through the great hall towards where their friends were seated. </p><p>“Oh yeah sorry about that. Brynne Nelson, you know, that Ravenclaw fourth year? She asked me to sit with her.” They sat down, both to the left of Remus. James continued, “It was weird, mate. She kept asking me odd questions and stuff. I dunno what she wanted.”</p><p>Sirius had a pretty good idea of what she wanted, but he kept his thoughts to himself. </p><p>The first years entered and the sorting began. </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Lily picked at her pancakes. She’d been in a rebellious mood ever since the end of the summer. She’d gone to bed very late last night, but that was pretty much the only scandalous act of revolt she’d tried so far and she was short on ideas. </p><p>
  <em> Something I’ve never done before. Something different, there’s gotta be something…. </em>
</p><p>She looked around the room for inspiration. </p><p>Her eyes landed on the Slytherin table. </p><p>
  <em> No way.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This could never happen.  </em>
</p><p>This could happen. </p><p>She made her decision and turned to the girl next to her, “Hey, Miranda? When’s the first Hogsmeade trip?”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Severus was met with a surprise on his first day of Legilimency lessons that year. </p><p>“Severus,” Dumbledore gestured to the boy next to him, “this is Jacob Opten. He will be joining us for our lessons this year.”</p><p>Severus eyed the Ravenclaw. His dirty blond hair lay in curtains around his eyes and his expression told the Slytherin that the child was eager to please. But why was he here? Severus looked at the headmaster questioningly.</p><p>“Jacob has shown a similar affinity to yours in the subject of Legilimency.”</p><p>Severus raised his eyebrows. Opten was a first year. Severus remembered his name being called in the great hall. They were only two weeks into term. How did Dumbledore already have a sense of Jacob’s skill?</p><p>“So,” Professor Dumbledore said cheerfully, moving to sit down at his desk, “Now that we’ve all been acquainted, let’s get started.”</p><p>Dumbledore looked at Severus and the fourth-year tore his gaze away from the newcomer and back to his teacher, “I’m sure you understand, Severus, that while there exists Legilimency, there is also a way to counter it, should an unwanted guest attempt to access one’s mind.” </p><p>The boy nodded. </p><p>The old man continued, “This particular area of magic is called Occlumency. As I have already explained to Jacob here, he will attempt to penetrate your mind, and you will do your best to block him out. This will give both of you good practice.”</p><p><em> Oh this should be easy, </em> Severus thought, <em> Opten’s a beginner. He’ll be like how I was earlier last year.  </em></p><p>The headmaster stood up and continued his instructions, “You are to clear your mind completely. Calm yourself. Rid yourself of all emotions. Do not be discouraged if it doesn’t work at first,” Dumbledore smiled and looked back at the first year, “On three then? Here we go.”</p><p><em> Okay okay, so don’t think. </em>He pushed away thoughts of his transfiguration homework that he had been stressing about earlier. </p><p>“1..”</p><p>Damnit now he was thinking about transfiguration. </p><p>“2..”</p><p>And <em> that </em> made him think about the annoying hufflepuff Mudblood who sat in front of him in that class and was always drumming her fingers on the desk. </p><p>
  <em> How the hell am I supposed to do this? </em>
</p><p>“3”</p><p>The fourth year barely heard Opten say the incantation before he was flying through his own mind. </p><p>He was in transfiguration class, yes, but then more memories came up. Things he hadn’t even been thinking about but he guessed were probably in his subconscious somewhere. They went by quickly but he caught a few. Getting beaten up by some sixth years, he and his mum eating breakfast while empty beer bottles littered the kitchen, he and Lily racing each other to see who could roll down the hill faster. Severus enjoyed that last one a lot. Before there was Gryffindor or Slytherin. Before things got complicated. </p><p>
  <em> No, don't get distracted. Force him out.  </em>
</p><p>He pushed away thoughts of Lily and focused instead on calming himself, successfully avoiding going down the rabbit hole this time. The office swam back into view. </p><p>He’d done it. But why was this kid so strong so early into his magical career?</p><p>Fifteen minutes later Severus was hurrying down the steps and through the corridor away from Dumbledore’s office. To his annoyance, an out-of-breath Jacob caught up within a minute or two. </p><p>“That was fun!” The Ravenclaw exclaimed, “I like learning new magic. I think it’s really—” The boy chattered on. Severus found his eagerness and enthusiastic attitude highly bothersome. </p><p>One thing was for sure. </p><p>Severus was now competing. </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>“Well that,” Sirius said dropping his book bag on the floor and plopping into a chair by James’s hospital bed, “was an extremely moronic thing to do.”</p><p>“Have you come to my death bed merely to insult me, dear friend?” James groaned overdramatically. </p><p>Sirius rolled his eyes, “you’re not dying. You’re just an idiot.”</p><p>“Oh are you going to tell me what happened?” Remus asked, looking up from where he was reading in the bed next to James’s. The full moon was rapidly approaching and he’d been looking a bit worse for wear, subsequently ending up in the hospital wing a few days earlier, “James wouldn’t say.” He gestured to the boy a few feet away, who was currently covered in bruises, sporting a broken nose, a cracked skull, and a nastily dislocated shoulder. </p><p>“Our resident genius,” Sirius began, “decided it was a great idea to take a nose dive into a bludger during the match today.”</p><p>Remus snickered.”</p><p>“It was a completely legitimate tactic,” James insisted still not sitting up in bed, “If the wind had just been right—”</p><p>“Did they at least win?”</p><p>Sirius shook his head, “180 to 40, Hufflepuff.”</p><p>This time Remus full on snorted in laughter, which soon turned into a coughing fit. </p><p>“Yeah yeah,” James said, wincing a bit as he sat up, very clearly wanting to change the subject, “Still got the mandrake leaf, Pete?”</p><p>Peter nodded from the other chair. He had lasted 20 days so far in the October to November cycle, which was a record for the boy, “Why hasn’t Madam Pomfrey come by to fix you up, yet?” He looked around the mostly empty room, “nobody else is here.”</p><p>“Reckon she wants to teach him a lesson,” Remus theorized returning to his book, “Maybe it’s some anti-stupidity therapy.”</p><p>“Right, shut up, you lot,” James ordered. He made a second attempt at a subject change, “Hogsmeade trip is coming up. Everyone planning on coming?”</p><p>Peter groaned, “Can’t. I need Saturday to work on that Defense Against the Dark Arts paper on Erklings for Professor Manning.”</p><p>“Merlin, that woman’s the worst,” Sirius said, “Whatever happened to that old guy from last year, Professor Sylvester?”</p><p>James almost shrugged but thought better of it last minute, “Dunno. Dumbledore didn’t say.”</p><p>It was certainly odd that no teacher in that subject ever lasted for more than a year...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Haven’t died! So sorry for the inconsistency<br/>-klara</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Sunshine Gray</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hogsmeade!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Severus made his way out of the Charms classroom, looking over his just-handed-back test. The 94% glared at him from the top of the paper. Don’t get it twisted, he knew many students would kill for that grade, but he had been hoping for a perfect score on this one. He sighed and stuffed the paper into his bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he walked, he heard students chatting to each other about the talk of the day: tomorrow’s Hogsmeade visit. Severus never went to the village, opting instead to stay in his dormitory reading, and that was the play this year. Slughorn had recently given him a new book. It was a textbook meant for sixth years but the professor had said that he thought Severus would find it interesting. And indeed Severus was finding it very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> interesting…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was in the courtyard when he suddenly saw a flash of red hair running towards him. Severus smiled. It had been a while since the two had really interacted. He and Lily had sat together on the train, but hadn’t had much of a conversation since then. The boy opened his mouth to greet her, but before he could, quick, jumbled words burst from the Gryffindor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“DoyouwanttogotoHogsmeadewithme?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dead silence from both of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily spoke up again after a moment, this time much slower, “like...on a...date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus couldn’t believe it. He had to be dreaming, right? No way was what he had been hoping for for years actually happening in real life. He’d attempted to repress his feelings for the muggle-born, positive that they were unrequited, but had for the most part failed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream or no dream, he had to respond or he’d mess this up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” his face was completely stoic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Great!” Lily then turned and walked away. It had been a bizarre interaction to say the least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily breathed a sigh of relief. She could’ve been a bit smoother but overall the conversation had gone relatively well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape hadn’t been the only person asked out. Brynne Nelson had come up to James Potter out of nowhere and invited him to go with her. As oblivious to these things as his friend was, Sirius was pretty sure James thought the two of them were just going as friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Sirius walked alongside Remus on Saturday, he again felt happy that he’d been able to get his form signed that summer. Turned out going to his father had been much more effective than his mother, and it was a relief to be able to walk out the front doors rather than sneak through tunnels to get to the village. Sirius breathed in the fresh air, thinking about recent events. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been disappointing to say the least when Peter had swallowed the leaf 24 days into the cycle. They felt so close, yet so far. It was James’s turn this month, but Sirius wasn’t very hopeful</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you feeling, mate?” He said quietly to the boy next to him, trying to distract himself from the animagus project. Remus hadn’t been in the best condition since his transformation, and it was a bit concerning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Remus was a liar but it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it, “What are we thinking? Honeydukes first?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honeydukes first?” Severus asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I have a feeling we won’t be too happy there right now. Maybe the Three Broomsticks?” Lily suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They entered the pub and ordered two butterbeers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus spotted a couple of Slytherins and immediately said “Let’s go sit over there,” referring to a more out-of-sight table in the corner. Lily was great but he’d still rather not be seen with her by his Slytherin peers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...er,” Lily began as they took their seats, “How’ve you been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He replied with a simple “not bad” but internally the boy further pondered the question. He’d often considered telling Lily about his lessons with Dumbledore, but always concluded that she’d probably think he was a freak. Most of his time these days was spent on practicing Legilimency. Occlumency was for nighttime. Dumbledore had advised him to practice clearing his mind every night. He was good at it but it tended to lead to strange dreams of multicolored abstract figures and distant voices calling his name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, he was getting good at Occlumency. Jacob was rarely able to penetrate his mind for more than a few seconds during their lessons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus was vaguely aware of Lily telling him something about her sister, but his thoughts were now on the Gryffindor boy. Jacob was strong but had only gotten more annoying over the months. He’d constantly try to engage Severus in conversation, ignoring the fact that the Slytherin was clearly not interested in a friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was not a friendly relationship. This was war. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Don’t get him wrong, Brynne was nice and all, a bit over dramatic, but alright overall, but James was very distracted that day in the Three Broomsticks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t stop his eyes from flicking over to Lily’s table every now and again. He was having an odd feeling every time she smiled, that he couldn’t exactly explain. It was a sort of fluttery twisting in his stomach if that made sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would truly be happy to watch Lily the entire time if it hadn’t been for the factor that annoyed him. He’d never seen snivellus in the village before and now here he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not surprising, of course she’d sit with him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then why did it make him angry?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shoot Brynne was asking him a question now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er sorry, what was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” the Hufflepuff twirled a bit of her long blonde hair around a single finger, “I was just wondering if you’re staying in school for Christmas break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh..well, er no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” she said, tossing the yellow lock over her shoulder, “maybe we could, I dunno, get together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, no, not at home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As his mind turned happily to the vacation to see sphinxes in Egypt with his parents, he thought he noticed a look of disappointment on the girl’s face. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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